The Top 10 Ways to Hold a Microphone

Dude, don’t start your show with the show stopper. Jared Dines’ YouTube Channel is just a wealth of musician comedy. Sure, the “shit [insert type of people here] say” videos are a well-trodden meme, but when that meme falls right in your wheelhouse you find yourself clicking on and enjoying the video in question regardless. I highly recommend all of those pieces of content on Jared’s page, but the best one is his new “10 Ways to Hold a Microphone (for beginners).” I was dying the entire time. Then after my mortal peril ended I laughed quite hard. My only complaint: he begins with the T-Rex.

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Maybe it’s just Jurassic Park fanboyism revived, but I’m very, very partial to the T-Rex. Or maybe I’ve just been to far too many hardcore shows and marveled at this particular awkward bit of stage posturing. But every parody on display here is dead-on.

Can I make a request though, to add in an 11th? I desperately need to see a singer revving invisible motorcycle handlebars.

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Chris Alfano has written about music and toured in bands since print magazines and mp3.com were popular. Once in high-school he hacked a friend's QBasic stick figure fighting game to add a chiptune metal soundtrack. Random attractive people still give him high-fives about that.

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