Top Ten Protomen Tour Superstitions Or General Life Tips

We’re at the start of our long weekend in Boston… a city we truly love spending time in and the furthest away from home we’ll be getting on this run. We’re here playing the PAX East festival. PAX East is one of now four PAX incarnations that we’ve been fortunate enough to participate in (including PAX Prime in Seattle, PAX South in San Antonio, and PAX Australia in… well, Australia).


In all the years of traveling to shows like these, we’ve picked up a few… lets call them superstitions. In fact, let’s call them the…

Top Ten Protomen Tour Superstitions Or General Life Tips

These are all the things we believe in our robot hearts have helped us make it through the years of touring we’ve done so far. We hope they’ll help you too.

10. Never eat at Denny’s after the last show on a tour.

You’ll either get diarrhea or a semi will run over your bus. Either way, you’re not making it home on time.

9. Good things (including great fertility) come to anyone who goes Great Salt Lake swimming in extra salty bird shit (Believe us, it doesn’t taste as good as you’d think). 

8. It’s always good luck to be the first person to shit after crossing into a new state.

7. Never leave a place without taking with you everything you love…

because there’s always the chance you may never be coming back.

6. Fortune favors those who can say the name “Geena Davis” while they’re puking.

Go on…try it.

5. Commander B. Hawkins thinks it’s good luck to store all of his worldly belongings under his mattress in the bus, and that cleaning it out is the equivalent of killing a black cat with a broken mirror under a ladder (or he’s just a very odd slob).

No one knows how he sleeps. It looks like you’ve set a foam mattress down on top of a pawn shop.

4. Don’t OD on a Friday

A wise wandering wizard in Columbia, SC sang us an incredible song about how you shouldn’t OD on a Friday, and we took his word for it. We have yet to OD on a Friday and that’s worked out well for us so far.

3. We can’t cross the border into Canada unless “All-American Panther” is driving.

I mean, someone else can drive as long as we all want full cavity searches… just depends on our mood, really.

2. Never assume fan-made food is safe.

At some point in your career, some random dude will stumble into your green room and in his stoned haze forget he set down his delicious-looking box of weed cookies, which the entire band will consume and it will make for a very eventful (or very uneventful) show… we can’t remember which.

1. Never watch La Bamba in a moving vehicle. The curse of Ritchie Valens will claim your rock and roll transport.

It took us 2 busses and 3 trailers to figure that out.

The Protomen’s US tour marches on – next show is in Boston. Check em out at the remaining dates:

Apr 25 – Boston, MA @ Middle East
Apr 26 – Philadelphia, PA @ World Cafe Live
Apr 28- Grand Rapids, MI @ Pyramid Scheme
Apr 29 – Indianapolis, IN @ Emerson Theater
Apr 30 – Chicago, IL @ Reggies Live

Written by

Max is managing editor of Gear Gods.

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