Need I write more? The Djentstick, America’s response to the erhu, is being Kickstarted in a new iteration under the name FretPen. This tiny 4 fret guitar doubles as a quill to write out the cheerios tabs you chug out on its tiny single unwound string. It comes with an iPhone app so you can amplify it so your chunky riffs and shredding leads can scream through a 1 centimeter speaker and you can switch to different virtual strings on the fly.

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Pledge to the Kickstarter campaign and you can pre-order a FretPen for yourself, including a signature (pun intended) FretPen from either Queensryche guitarist you like. *Editor’s note: I was going to ask which Queensryche, but I guess that problem is now solved.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/666700832/fretpen-play-guitar-anywhere

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As Editor-in-Chief of Gear Gods, I've been feeding your sick instrument fetishism and trying unsuccessfully to hide my own since 2013. I studied music on both coasts (Berklee and SSU) and now I'm just trying to put my degree to some use. That's a music degree, not an English one. I'm sure you noticed.