I’m going to admit to just completely writing these off, because I like having intact strings. A 3.4mm Quartz guitar pick? Seriously? Oh, you’re afraid that’s not thick enough because you play bass and you want to completely wreck the fuck out of your low-B string? Don’t worry, Real Rock have a 3.7mm pick in either Bloodstone or Jade, because just one style of heavy-ass stone pick just won’t satiate that hungry market.

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Fine, a few of these arrowheads-turned-instruments come in reasonable measurements like 2.1mm, 1.7mm, even 1.5mm, but that doesn’t change the fact that they’re made of materials like “Petrified Wood” and “Heart Of Stone” that seem better suited for breathing life into a living golem than for repeatedly striking taut fibrous wires.

In other news, thanks to Guitar World we have this video of the world’s most gaudy guitar, shaped like an AK-47. It was custom built for Wyclef Jean, who apparently wants to never fly to a gig. Also, congratulations, you made a guitar shaped like a machine gun and immediately nullified any metal badassery by giving it to Wyclef Jean.

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Chris Alfano has written about music and toured in bands since print magazines and mp3.com were popular. Once in high-school he hacked a friend's QBasic stick figure fighting game to add a chiptune metal soundtrack. Random attractive people still give him high-fives about that.