Obligatory Halloween Guitar Post Would Be Scary if Guitars Could Be Scary

Guitar World posted some scary Halloween guitars, which are mainly terrifying because people buy this gaudy garbage. But hey, let’s get festive. If there’s one Halloween tradition I honor, it’s making fun of other people’s lame outfits. And you can wear a guitar, so it counts.




This skull looks very concerned about your poor technique. Look at that horrified stare. He can’t believe you haven’t spent time building up alternate picking speed, and instead jumped right to butchering sweeps.

By the way: “vengeance,” bro. Bad ass.



This guitar is for people who are afraid of lava. It’s a huge seller in Pompeii, I guess.



This guitar gets so much cooler when you ignore what the artist intended to be the mouth, and instead squint so that the bridge looks like the guitar’s teeth. Because then, this demon guitar has a gold grill, which makes it so much more awesome.



This axe is by far the most terrifying of the lot, because it’s a Cort.

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Chris Alfano has written about music and toured in bands since print magazines and mp3.com were popular. Once in high-school he hacked a friend's QBasic stick figure fighting game to add a chiptune metal soundtrack. Random attractive people still give him high-fives about that.

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