Electro-Harmonix’s New “The Crying Bass” Pedal Unfortunately Doesn’t Have a Penis

I was on the run from the IRA in Thatcher’s London when a dying comrade of mine encouraged me to check out Electro-Harmonix’s new wah, “The Crying Bass.” I stayed with it for a while, and then gradually noticed that all was not as it seemed. Unlike most wah stompboxes, The Crying Wah didn’t have a hinge. I tried to get used it it, but that’s just not what I’m looking for. I like the natural friction of a traditional pedal. If that makes me closed-minded, I’m sorry, but that’s just how my brain is wired.


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Chris Alfano has written about music and toured in bands since print magazines and mp3.com were popular. Once in high-school he hacked a friend's QBasic stick figure fighting game to add a chiptune metal soundtrack. Random attractive people still give him high-fives about that.

Latest comments
  • I don’t think the cradle really solves the problem of it being attached to a pedal board. It’s still not attached… it’s… cradled… it’s just as easy to kick it off of the stage as without. What they could do is use a very low friction rod assembly that goes through the pedal with a base that could be attached to a pedal board. Then they preserve the uncomfortable frictionless operation of the pedal and it doesn’t go flying when an overzealous player stomps on it the wrong way.

    …Though, I’d just buy a nice WAH pedal that has some resistance to it so it’s easier to use.

    • Yeah, when he showed the docking cradle I was expecting him to say something like “we have this fucking awesome magnet that prevents the pedal from moving around your board as you stomp on shit.” When he said “here’s a strap… tie your pedal down or something, I don’t know, fuck it” I almost spit out my coffee laughing.

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