I posit that 2017 will be the start of Djent’s ‘Decline Stage’ in its genre life cycle. So now’s a great time to reflect on the mark has Djent left.

Here’s 5 ways Djent has ruined Metal.

1. It Expedited a Race to the Lowest Possible Tuning

Tunings went from 7 string guitars in B standard, to drop A, to drop G# …then to 8 Strings, and then to 8 strings in drop E.

That’s a full octave down from the standard tuning ‘E’.

It took 20 years for metal to move from E standard to drop C. Now, 7 years after Djent broke, no one can tune higher than Drop B without sounding like a Classic Rock band. Thanks Djent, you a-holes.

2. It Robbed Us of a Generation of Bass Players

Ever since Djent became popular your band can’t find a decent bassist. Coincidence?

To accommodate the aforementioned low tunings, the guitar scale lengths got longer. From 25.5” to 27”, to 28”, to 30”. Combine that with the ‘one note bend+open string+octave’ riffs and whoa… where have I seen all this before?

Baritone, rhythmically focused riffs played one note at a time…

Northlane at a recent live show.

Yep. Djentists are all basically playing basses. No wonder there are no actual bass players around anymore, they all bought Rondo 8 string guitars and started their own genre.

3. Its Declining Popularity Might Drag Meshuggah Down With It

For a long time Meshuggah were singular. They had an aura of mystery. They were unfuck-withable.

Now a flood of bedroom producers in V-necks, with Slate Drums, and Mayones guitars have over-saturated the market with a secondhand imitation of their style. It’s gonna end up really dating Meshuggah’s sound because they’re so similar.

And, when the Djent sound becomes passé, there’s a good chance that Meshuggah’s popularity will wane with it.

Djent Stocks

“Hello Fredrik? The Djent is crashing! Sell!! Sell!!!”

4. It Dorkified the Breakdown

Much like G-Eazy is a safe way for white people to listen to rap, Djent became a safe space for metal dorks to enjoy breakdowns while not feeling too guilty about violating their Metal Archives forum cred.

“No look it’s got these weird bits between the chugs. It’s actually not really core at all.”

Except Djent breakdowns are in odd time signatures and aren’t really catchy.  But that makes it elite and super metal, because regular people don’t like it.

Metal dudes need to accept that crushing, half-time, simple/open chug riffs are sick. Go full crowdkill, or just stop with the faux-mosh. Leave it to the experts over in Beatdown.

5. Precious Resources Were Wasted on 9 String Guitars

The only dude that is qualified to play 9 strings is Josh Travis. Everyone else, slow your role.

There is no good reason to play 9 strings. You’re, for sure, not using all of those notes. Realistically, you’re only using the bottom 3 strings for *djents* and top 3 strings for *widdles*.

It’s a waste of wood and labor. There’s an opportunity cost dammit. What cool shit could Ibanez have made instead, if they hadn’t spent their R&D budget figuring out how to make these abominations-of-god called “extended range guitars”. Which of the up-and-coming metal guitarists lost out on a signature deal to make way for a flash-in-the-pan 9 string model?

Extended Range Amnesty Program

Keep an eye out for the 2017 Gear Gods ‘Extended Range Guitar Amnesty Program’. All ex-Djenters returning 9-string guitars will receive an annual subscription to V-Neck Enthusiast Magazine.

(Editor’s note: Unhappy with Zeke’s conclusion? Check out Trey’s rebuttal here.)

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Demigod Zeke studies marketing & economics and produces his friends’ disgusting slam bands.