Summer NAMM ’15 – This Douchebag Guitar VAPES. Yes, Really.

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As an asthmatic, an aerobic life-form, and a citizen of earth, I am vehemently against all forms of smoking (exceptions made for smoking various meats). I personally think that if someone wants so badly to destroy their own lungs, have at it, I won’t stop you, but smoking necessitates that everyone in the vicinity also suffer, which to me is kind of like lung rape.

So I was actually kind of excited when vaping first started to become popular, because it seemed to eliminate the second-hand smoke hazard. Sure, it smells like melted lollipops, but at least it’s not cigarettes. But there’s a new association with vaping – it’s like a douchebag red flag. There are loads of exceptions – but the general tagline is, Vaping Is For Douchebags.

So when I came across this guitar with a built-in vape pen from Evolution Guitars, my conscious logical mind was having a hard time listening to the description because my associative brain was just screaming DOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEE! DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE!

The effect is a bit like the fog machine built into Devin Townsend’s insane Framus guitar, but much less pronounced. I dunno how much e-juice costs, but I can’t imagine it being practical for a liver performance. I give them an A for resourcefulness though.

The Evolution Guitars concept, vape aside, is actually pretty cool – any of their guitar tops can be interchanged with another just by loosening some hex bolts and replacing it, electronics and all. Different color finish, different wood, new pickups, the works, in a matter of minutes.

Written by

As Editor-in-Chief of Gear Gods, I've been feeding your sick instrument fetishism and trying unsuccessfully to hide my own since 2013. I studied music on both coasts (Berklee and SSU) and now I'm just trying to put my degree to some use. That's a music degree, not an English one. I'm sure you noticed.

Latest comments
  • If they are so douchey why give them a shout out? Vaping is a lower class smoking, just greasey fuckers who have no idea what being a decent person is about. Hopefully vaping turns out to be twice a deadly as smoking and all these fuckers will just die and save us from their stupidity.

    • uh what? what is wrong with vaping? can someone explain all the useless bashing

      • Alright, first I don’t know what’s in your “vape” that I’m inhaling second hand. At least I know what’s in a cigarette. Second, you don’t know what’s in your vape, except that it smells like stripper perfume. But probably the thing I hate the most, is the lack of consideration for other people. There is this idea that it’s safe so vape away, I don’t want to inhale anything that is in a vape. At least people know they can’t smoke inside.

        • I know what’s in my vape. I don’t vape inside stores or restaraunts and i don’t blow it at people.
          Not every vaper is a douchebag. The real douchebags are the smokers who say vaping is still bad for you.

          • I don’t do either, I just get them both second hand at every concert I attend.

        • “I don’t know whats in your “vape” that I’m inhaling second hand”

          Water vapor mate, now if you’re done crying about your precious oxygen, climb back into your leaded car and drive down the road to McDonalds with your window wide open.

          see the irony?

    • like i agree this guitar is stupid af, but me quitting smoking using a vape smoke what in the fuck is wrong with that

      • You’re still smoking. That’s the problem. It’s not a combustible cigarette, but there are still toxic chemicals that you’re introducing into the environment without the consent of the people around you. Sure, vaping may be less toxic than smoking but that isn’t saying much. Smoking is toxic as all hell.

        • Not smoking. no toxic chemicals. your name says grand old drummer not grand old scientist

          • I fail to see the word “scientist” in your name as well. The truth of the matter is, there isn’t enough information on the chemicals in vape smoke to definitively say “this is safe” or not. I’m not comfortable with exposing myself to such uncertainty. Is everything I expose myself to 100% healthy? Probably not, but it’s a known and willful risk. Therein, lies the rub.

          • ejuice is basically flavoring, nicotine, and propylene glycol, an organic compound

            the human body metabolizes propylene glycol into pyruvic acid, which is the same shit your body produces when it processes sugar

            it also produces acetic acid and lactic acid which is also the shit your body produces when it metabolizes and digests things

            the only thing that is remotely hazardous is propionaldehyde, but it has long been established is that its only dangerous if youre a dumbass and drink a gallon of the stuff or some shit

            it might irritate the lungs of some people a little but thats just the nature of breathing in anything that isn’t air

            nothing really toxic or crazy bad for you has been discovered so far

            its not like this is some new chemical that hasnt already been studied for years before it was even used in vaporizers

          • That’s great. Do what you do, but don’t expect everyone around you to be happy about it.

          • There is plenty of information on the chemicals in vapes. The fact of the matter is it is healthier for you than cigarettes. Im not a scientist, just a well informed vapor.

      • Boom:
        Are E-Cigarettes Going Up in Smoke? Users Show Same Cancer-Causing Chemicals as Regular Smokers
        http://fortune.com/2018/03/06/e-cigarettes-cause-cancer-study-vaping/

    • Wow still talking about it and being ignorant. Are you a scientist? As metalheads don’t we get enough hate? Don’t be a hater and generalize people because you had a bad experience. I am only as greasy and stupid as you are.

  • This is an astoundingly stupid idea

  • Dudes!! Is this a blog about metal or f-ucking crocheting?!! “I hate cigarettes and do aerobics”…listen to f-cking Justin Bieber then you God damn p-ussies!!

  • NAMM Booth? Check. Display case? Check. Web site? Coming Soon.

  • I have love for all metalheads even the idiot writer of this article who lumps all vapers into the douchebag category.

  • Fuck all of the retards who smoke. Go smoke a dick instead.

  • does it also dispense beard oil and PBR?

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