As the holiday season nears, you may be racking your brain for what to get for your friend, parent, child, sibling, aunt/uncle, or, in cooler cases, grandparent, who plays metal. You probably don’t feel like shelling out for a new guitar or drum set, and if you did, it would likely be met with a polite thank you and a return to the store because it’s just not something you can pick for someone else.
So to make your life easier, here’s a list of gifts that are a  low investment for you and a guaranteed hit for your metalhead secret Santa:
1. Drumsticks
You don’t have to be a drummer to enjoy this one. You don’t even have to own or have access to a drumkit. You can drum on pretty much anything and it’s fun, and everyone, regardless of principal instrument, should be able to play a little bit of drums because rhythm is the foundation of music. Bonus: add a container of drum putty to make any surface a drum pad.
2. Effects pedals
Any guitarist or bassist will be STOKED if you get them one of these, because the chances of you getting them one they already have is small because there’s just so dang many different kinds. Now, they vary greatly in price, but there are many that can be had for under $50, and they’re all guaranteed to fit inside a conventional stocking. Here’s a couple:
Boss DS-1 Distortion – Classic distortion pedal.
Boss SD-1 Overdrive – If they’ve already got a good high-gain amp, better to go with this one for the same price.
Zoom Multi-Effects Pedal – This one has a plethora of different effects, so they’re guaranteed to find some sounds they like.
Behringer DR400 Reverb/Delay – A one-two punch for the lead guitarist, an instant addition of depth to your sound.
3. Microphones
Not everyone is a singer. Pitch eludes some people entirely, and others are too shy. But if you can talk, you can scream, and if you want to scream, you’re gonna need something to scream into. Here‘s one for under $50 that’s not a toy. Don’t forget to get an XLR cable to connect the mic to a PA or recording console.
4. GruvGear FretWraps
These are cool string mutes that come in a variety of colors. Way better than a hair tie or a sock and they come in packs of 3 for $29.99.
5. iRig
This is a small interface that allows you to plug your guitar/bass into your phone or tablet to jam using one of many music apps on the market. Think of it as a door to the world of digital music making.
So if you’re picking out a small gift this holiday season, don’t hesitate on any one of these – you’ll make some mini metal god very happy.
KnowYourEnema / November 13, 2014 9:28 am
I realize the Slayer stocking isnt real, but its another reminder how they are slowly becoming the metal version of KISS.
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KnowYourEnema / November 13, 2014 9:29 am
I stand corrected. The stocking is legit. smh
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Trey Xavier / November 13, 2014 11:27 am
There is A Slayer stocking that looks just like it, but this one I made in Photoshop.
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Steve Pelican / November 13, 2014 5:07 pm
Iron Maiden are the marketing sellouts. The only reason they’re big is because of Eddie and the money he rakes in with his stupid themed cups and kids’ costumes.
But no, let’s continue to berate a band who inadvertently collapsed against their will because a key member died, and their fans fucked them in their time of need when their fucking drummer decided to put his nose where it doesn’t belong.
Slayer doesn’t have the financial means nor the legacy to be the marketing franchise that KISS is now. But Iron Maiden sure does, and all they’re gonna do is get their dick sucked.
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HF Memphis / November 13, 2014 7:39 pm
Their drummer put his nose where it didn’t belong? Seriously can’t believe I just read that.
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KnowYourEnema / November 13, 2014 8:17 pm
Slayer Scion, Wine, Candy Jar, Socks, X-mas Tree Ornament…. who’s the sellouts? Also, Iron Maiden hasnt been relevant for over 20 years. No one cares.
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KnowYourEnema / November 13, 2014 8:24 pm
Oh, I forgot the Snow Goggles. Fucking snow goggles. Nothing says metal like the wind flowing through your frost tip dyed hair next to your frat buddies in Aspen, racing toward the bottom of the hill to a nice cup of hot chocolate (or Slayer wine lol) with your Slayer Snow Goggles.
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