Guitar Center’s Holiday Deals Draw You in Like a Beautiful Siren that Sings Sweet Child O’ Mine…

Yes, it is now that pitiless time of year when the retail zombies rise from their tryptophan graves and  rescue my daughter march en masse to their retail mausoleums. But if you have be washed away amidst the the throng of bleary eyed troglodytes, then you may as well get some discount drumsticks in the process.

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Guitar Center is holding two events. The first is their “Red Carpet” which, like the fleeting locust, soars and dies in an instant, from 7-9pm this Sunday. And there’s “complimentary snacks and refreshments,” so you can go home smelling like Diet Pepsi.

The latter event, “Countdown To Black Friday,” is like Amazon’s Lightning Deals, except far more impractical because you have to repeatedly return to Guitar Center instead of Firefox every day. But hey, if you desperately need a “Hohner PBH7 Piedmont Blues Harmonica Set” yet your wallet is $2 short, well then do I have a deal for you…

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Chris Alfano has written about music and toured in bands since print magazines and mp3.com were popular. Once in high-school he hacked a friend's QBasic stick figure fighting game to add a chiptune metal soundtrack. Random attractive people still give him high-fives about that.