DORITOS Bag That Plays Entire GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Vol. 2 Soundtrack

The first Guardians of the Galaxy movie was so very badass. It was easily the greatest superhero movie of all-time (literally fight me if you disagree). And praise jeebus! Guardians Vol. 2 is now screening. So, of course, Marvel has to have a junk food product tie-in to promote it’s release.

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So, let’s think through a list of logical candy cross-promotions that Marvel could have potentially gone with… Well, how about a limited edition “Space Rocks” flavor of Pop Rocks? Oh, or some Baby Groot gummies would be cool. Maybe even a homebrand, chewy, spearmint flavored Drax The Destroyer confectionery? I mean, these are all reasonable options that make total sense.

Welp. Turns out, they went with a bag of Doritos corn chips that you can plug headphones into.

This is only my second favourite limited edition Doritos bag.

The “Guardians” Doritos bag has a built-in rechargeable mp3 player that comes pre-loaded with the entire Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Soundtrack. Plus, it comes with a pair of retro (read: dollar-store-level crappy) headphones. Just like the ones Star-Lord uses!

I’m mostly wondering if confectionery will become the new hot album format for hipster bands, after everyone realizes vinyl is way too inconvenient …brb, releasing an EP on a box of Fruit Roll-Ups.

On a related note, it’s actually a really good compilation album. Plenty of god-tier 70’s rock, like; Electric Light Orchestra, Fleetwood Mac and the godddamn Parliament p-funk experience.

So, if you want to get your hands on one of these collector’s edition corn chips, you’d better ge- …aaand they’re gone. Sold out within days. But feel free to puncture a hole in a regular bag of chips and stick some cheap-ass, foam covered, supra-aural headphones in it and read through the Amazon listing. That’ll pretty much be the same thing.

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Demigod Zeke studies marketing & economics and produces his friends’ disgusting slam bands.