I’m a habitual hand drummer. I’ve done it at weddings, waiting for interviews to start, at doctors’ appointments, pretty much anywhere. But I don’t know man, now that my dreams are being actualized I may not be able to handle it.
Someone invented Drum Pants. They went and did it, god help us all. These farcical, magical flabtraptions are not, in actuality, pants. Instead they’re strips of sensors that can be worn under pants… or over them… or in a jacket. But I suppose Drum Random Clothing Accessory didn’t have the same marketing zest.
It seems like these… the hell with it, pants, were designed mainly so your drummer can annoy the shit out of you in the tour van by hooking his pants up to the car stereo. Or for your guitarist to annoy the shit out of your drummer by also playing through the stereo, but with an even more questionable tempo.
But where would I personally like to use Drum Pants? The john, which already provides the best Vinnie Paul clicky kick drum with its cold tile floor. Just set up a big gated verb snare with this thing and you’ll be far beyond shitting.
…I just lost half of our readership, didn’t I? Anyway, there’s a Drum Pants Kickstarter for those of you who think the world is a better place with percussive pants.
Turk / December 30, 2013 4:34 pm
> far beyond shitting
Well done, 8/10.
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Chris Alfano / December 30, 2013 9:23 pm
You know, in retrospect I should have said something about the “Bowel Boys From Hell.”
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CyberneticOrganism / January 4, 2014 6:13 pm
The Great Southern Buttwipe?
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Chris Alfano / January 4, 2014 10:15 pm
Not bad.
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mouseporn / January 6, 2014 11:34 pm
I NEED THIS. I’m guilty of hand-drumming and pen-drumming literally all day long. It irritates all my friends.
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Piet / January 7, 2014 6:56 pm
Same here. My right hand fingers are for the dubbelbass and my left for snare, hi hat etc.
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Allan Doria Asirit / January 10, 2014 6:13 pm
mega crap!
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corpsegrinder / January 10, 2014 6:56 pm
new and exciting ways to annoy people on public transit. i actually like this though. im quite the finger drummer. ladies, pay attention to that last bit.
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Drew Anderson / January 11, 2014 12:19 pm
Take my money!!!!
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Krusty Klown / July 8, 2014 5:49 pm
Brilliant or dumb? Sorry, but I’m gonna have to vote for the latter. Although I suppose they would be fun to pass the time whilst sitting upon the throne. But then, what would you strap the sensor to?
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Abfabgab / January 15, 2015 4:30 pm
Had to buy them for my drummer fiance. He drums on everything, so I figured he can make some sweet music whilst doing so at the dinner table.
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