New Owner Of Import Guitar Will Probably Throw Some Bare Knuckles In There

Citing the name of an endorsed artist with whom he had no previous contact as inspiration, local guitarist Chuck “The Beaver” Mastroni of progressive metal band The Arrivalings announced on social media this past Friday that he was “probably going to throw some Bare Knuckles” into a new used Ibanez 7321 he’d recently scored.


A source close to The Beav says that he proudly asserted his intentions aloud in a Facebook group called “Extended Rangers”, a 300-strong group of mostly young men dedicated to guitars with more than the usual number of strings. Previous posts of his include searching for band members (“Anybody in here want to collab? Tuning is Drop G on a seven”), asking for advice on free VSTs to use (“Im broke rn, what’s a good free amp sim for Reaper lol?”), and questioning the veracity of statements made by other members of the group (“idk why you said ebony is a dark wood, it sounds rly bright on my buddys skerv”).

“It seems like he wanted to somehow justify the good deal he thought he’d gotten on that guitar at Guitar Center. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he can buy that same guitar pretty much anywhere used for that price, at any time. Now he’s saying he wants to put $300 worth of pickups into a $200 guitar he originally bought because he said he wanted ‘a beater it would be cool to just have around and tinker with’. I don’t think he considered the $100 or so it would cost to get the pickups installed either.” said the source.

As of this writing, the pickups had not been purchased, nor had Chuck revealed how he intends on getting the pickups into the guitar with no guitar modification experience. Further investigation into the “About” section of The Arrivalings Facebook page reveals that he is, in fact, the only member of the band, aside from the cryptically named SD2 on drums.

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As Editor-in-Chief of Gear Gods, I've been feeding your sick instrument fetishism and trying unsuccessfully to hide my own since 2013. I studied music on both coasts (Berklee and SSU) and now I'm just trying to put my degree to some use. That's a music degree, not an English one. I'm sure you noticed.