Ibanez: for When Fit for an Autopsy Need to Go “Whuuuump… Ba da Dooop Dooop Doooooop, Dump badadada Jud Jud Jud Goooooo”

The epic promo video is the best promo video. There’s something to the slow motion headbanging and orchestral strings that give our meandering daily drudgery a bit of welcome meaning, not unlike a kickass concert actually.

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Assuming for a moment that Fit for an Autopsy are on stage at this theoretical metal show, the imaginary you in your head might be standing on hypothetical tip toes trying to get a glimpse over the head of a made up tall dude not actually standing in front of you, to get a look at the gear that would actually be on stage if you were in reality at a venue and not browsing a website. And that gear would say “Ibanez.”

Both guitarists, Patrick Sheridan and Tim Howley, play RG models. Sheridan favors the Prestige RG2627, while Howley beats the gosh darn heck out of an RGIR. That IR stands for “Iron Label,” but I like to pretend that it’s short for Dimmu boRGIR. Bassist Shane Slade rocks the BTB series, but you can’t make Dimmu Borgir puns about that.

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Chris Alfano has written about music and toured in bands since print magazines and mp3.com were popular. Once in high-school he hacked a friend's QBasic stick figure fighting game to add a chiptune metal soundtrack. Random attractive people still give him high-fives about that.