Suicide Silence Guitarist Mark Heylmun Talks About Inches for 6 Minutes, Also His Signature ESP

Damn it Mark Heylman, do you know how many immature metal doofuses there are out there… like myself for example? You can’t just keep talking about inches for six minutes, i.e. “mine is an inch longer than the one you can buy on the streets,” “they gave me an extra half an inch by mistake,” “you’re going to be able to get it with an extra inch soon,” and not expect everyone to start giggling uncontrollably.

The real problem here is that once the Suicide Silence guitarist said the word “inches” more than ten times or so, everything started to sound sexual, and not just the usual talk about wood and bone nuts. Is it just me? Did you get the wrong type of images in your head when he described the globs of extra super glue that someone left on his neck, or how acidic his sweat is?

Oh, by the way, Mark has a signature guitar. It’s an ESP LTD MKH-7 with a mahogany body, maple neck, and flame maple top. It’s currently 25 and a half inches, but the custom shop model it’s based on is 26 and a half inches. But soon the newer models without the signature will also be available in 26 1/2 inches. Inches inches inches.

I’ll be in my bunk.