Listen, Johnny boy, we need to have a chat. This Silver Sky of yours? It’s cursed. Haunted. Possessed by the demon familiars of artists living and dead, a vending machine of meme songs where art goes to die and where the player is merely a pawn, a host to the will of this modern occult torture device.

It might be just the one they sent me – it was labeled with some ancient markings, possibly occult in nature, that led me to believe that this was a unique instrument. You’ll have to see for yourself how it went down when I tried to play some entry-level jazz on it…

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As Editor-in-Chief of Gear Gods, I've been feeding your sick instrument fetishism and trying unsuccessfully to hide my own since 2013. I studied music on both coasts (Berklee and SSU) and now I'm just trying to put my degree to some use. That's a music degree, not an English one. I'm sure you noticed.