I Went Purse Shopping With ABORTED At Michael Kors And It Was Brutal AF

It doesn’t get much more brutal than this, folks – on the Independence of the Seas cruise ship that housed the 70,000 Tons of Metal cruise, there is a Michael Kors purse shop that no one goes into. It’s a metal cruise – most of these folks probably scrimped and saved all year to buy tickets to get on board, they’re not about to drop hefty bills on a pink purse, especially when alcohol isn’t included in the price of admission.

So I brought them some very special and very brutal guests – international gore metal superstars Aborted, who have just yesterday announced their new album title and release date (TerrorVision, out September 21st) and a European tour with Benighted, Cryptopsy, and Cytotoxin. We had a great time picking out the right purses for each of the boys, and even made a new fan in the form of the purse saleswoman.

Check out the Aborted pretty princesses on tour all of November (more dates to be announced!)

w/ Vale Of Pnath

05/25 Brooklyn, NY – The Kingsland
05/26 Montreal, QC – L’Astral
05/27 Ottawa, ON – Mavericks/Café Dekcuf
05/29 Lakewood, OH – The Foundry
05/30 Detroit, MI – Harpos Concert Theatre
05/31 Joliet, IL – The Forge
06/01 Kansas City, MO – The Riot Room
06/02 Denver, CO – The Roxy Theater
06/03 Salt Lake City, UT – Metro Music Hall
06/05 Vancouver, BC – Rickshaw Theater
06/06 Seattle, WA – Studio Seven
06/07 Portland, OR – The Analog Theater
06/08 Berkley, CA – Bay Area Death Fest

w/ Enfold Darkness

06/09 Los Angeles, CA – 1720
06/10 Mesa, AZ – Club Red
06/13 Fort Worth, TX – Tomcats West
06/14 Austin, TX – Come And Take It Live
06/15 McAllen, TX – Cine El Rey
06/16 Houston, TX – Walters
06/17 Atlanta, GA – The Masquerade
06/20 Durham, NC – Motorco Music Hall
06/21 Baltimore, MD – Soundstage
06/22 Waterford, NY – Chrome
06/23 Pittsburgh, PA – Rex Theater

w/ Benighted, Cryptopsy, and Cytotoxin

01/11/2018 TH NL Leeuwarden Neushoorn
02/11/2018 FR FR Mulhouse Noumatrouff
03/11/2018 SA BE Sint Niklaas Casino
04/11/2018 SU FR ST-Brieuc La Citrouille
08/11/2018 TH FR Biarritz Atabal
09/11/2018 FR ES Madrid Caracol
10/11/2018 SA ES Barcelona Boveda
11/11/2018 SU FR Lyon CCO
12/11/2018 MO IT Brescia Circolo Colony
13/11/2018 TU Sl Ljubljana Orto Bar
14/11/2018 WE CH Fribourg Fri-Son
15/11/2018 TH AT Vienna Arena
16/11/2018 FR DE Munich Feierwerk
17/11/2018 SA CZ Ostrava Barak Music Club
18/11/2018 SU CZ Prague Roxy
19/11/2018 MO PL Poznan Klub Y Bazyla
20/11/2018 TU DE Berlin Cassiopeia
21/11/2018 WE DK Copenhagen Pumpehuset
22/11/2018 TH DE Hamburg Bambi Galore
23/11/2018 FR DE Essen Turock
24/11/2018 SA DE Weinheim Café Central
25/11/2018 SU NL Eindhoven Dynamo

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As Editor-in-Chief of Gear Gods, I've been feeding your sick instrument fetishism and trying unsuccessfully to hide my own since 2013. I studied music on both coasts (Berklee and SSU) and now I'm just trying to put my degree to some use. That's a music degree, not an English one. I'm sure you noticed.